


The Loveliest of All

by rabidchild67



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-06
Updated: 2011-12-06
Packaged: 2018-01-05 22:55:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1099552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rabidchild67/pseuds/rabidchild67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So that thing about unicorns being attracted by virgins? Totally true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Loveliest of All

“Aw, come on, he’s adorable,” Nick said, kneeling down. The horse – more like a pony, actually – was about the size of a retriever, with white hair that shifted its color from a satiny, silvery grey to purest white depending on how the light hit it. He whickered softly and nuzzled against Nick’s hand. 

“He is. Adorable.” Monroe had a strange look on his face. “And precious and rare. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one this close.”

“You don’t really think it’s a unicorn?” Nick scoffed. The creature tossed its nose against Nick’s hand, so that it landed on its head. A single horn, which looked like it was covered with something not unlike Mother of Pearl, jutted from the center of its head. Nick felt around it, scratched the animal’s delicate little head, and the horn indeed seemed genuine.

“Of course it’s a unicorn. You really still question these things after what you’ve seen the last few months?”

“I suppose not,” Nick said, smiling absently at the unicorn and wishing he had an apple or something. 

“I just can’t believe how it’s taken to you. Or rather, I do believe it, I mean, there it is, soaking up all the Nick-love, but I mean, I just can’t believe…”

Nick looked up at Monroe, puzzled. It was clear the blutbad had a point to make. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. The unicorn, meanwhile, was trying to climb into Nick’s lap.

“I mean, you do know what it means? A unicorn allowing you to touch it? What it signifies?”

“No. Should I?” The unicorn had laid its head down in Nick’s lap and was nuzzling his hand softly, licking him gently.

“Well, allegorically it reresents the Incarnation, God become flesh. It’s kind of a fundamental theological concept – I thought you were Catholic?”

“I am, but medieval rhetorical constructs aren’t exactly my thing. Did you have a point?”

“Uh, well, in those medieval rhetorical constructs, the unicorn symbolizes purity and grace in its purest form, and they’re wild, dangerous things. Only a virgin can attract and trap one.”

“Oh.” 

“Something you wanted to share, Nick?”

“No.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“Huh.” 

“Stop looking at me like that.”

“I said nothing.”

“But you were thinking it.”

“My mind’s a blank.”

“No it’s not.”

“Dude, you’re like, 30.”

“So?”

“And your girlfriend is _hot_.”

“Your point?”

“And you’ve never… I mean in all this time, you two have never… done…stuff?”

“We do stuff!” Nick said defensively. “But she’s a strict Christian. And she’s saving _that_ for marriage.”

“And you? You have strict religious convictions?”

“Not particularly. It’s just, you know, I studied a lot in college and then I never met the right girl and – I don’t have to justify myself to you, Monroe!”

Monroe held his hands up placatingly. “Sure. Sure. Whatever you say. Just, you know, if you were thinking of getting ‘married’ anytime soon, you know, maybe wait a bit. Unicorn horn…it’s kind of valuable. Powerful aphrodisiac. Chinese businessmen’ll pay millions…”

“Monroe!”

“I wasn’t saying to kill it, but I mean, in case they shed them like deer or something, you know? Fine, FINE. We’ll just let it go then.”

“That we will,” Nick said. The unicorn nipped him lightly to start petting it again. “Soon.” Nick leaned forward and buried his nose in the animal’s soft mane; it smelled like fresh hay and summer. “If it wants to go.”

The unicorn whinnied loudly, and Monroe wasn’t sure, but it sounded like it had won something.

\----

Thank you for your time.


End file.
